6 Ways to Prioritise Yourself so that You Can Recharge Your Batteries and Get Back to Being You.

So you need to prioritise yourself, but where do you start to turn things around. You may have heard the saying “You can’t look after your family if you don’t look after yourself”, but by the time you recognise the symptoms and the underlying problem you’re probably too exhausted to find the energy and clarity to do something about it.

I found myself in the same situation after having 6 kids and the best advice I can give you in retrospect as well as from working with so many women feeling the same way, is that you need to acknowledge that you are exhausted and a little lost and that you can’t actually go on like this. Something has to change.

This seems to be endemic in mothers today.  You are definitely not alone.

If you want to feel energised, flowing with life joyfully and a sense of ease in the everyday you need to unwind and untangle!  You need to practice letting go and allowing things to just be.  You will find great clarity, foresight and wisdom in this space.  You can then become clear, intentional and productive and spend your time on the things that are most important to you in a balanced and meaningful way.

The unwinding and untangling process in itself can be overwhelming and the thought of it might give you a bit of head spin.

Imagine you wind up the ropes of a child’s swing so you can let it go and they spin back around the other way quickly as the swing unwinds. The children love it.  Why?  Because there is a thrill for them in being out of control like that. For you, you have spent so much of your time being wound up and ‘in control’ that being out of control isn’t a thrill, it’s just completely scary. ‘What if’ questions run through your mind convincing you it won’t be safe and so you don’t allow yourself to do it.  Over time you become more and more wound up and the thought of unwinding becomes more and more scary.

Being ‘in control’ and ‘capable’ by now have probably become locked into your identity. When you let this go it may feel scary at first, but trust me, it will followed by a great sense of relief and freedom.

Here are some simple steps you can take to begin to unwind, untangle and carve out some ‘out of control’ me-time for yourself so that you can recharge your batteries and get back to the very important job of being you!

    1.     Schedule time off for you.  In 2014, after having 6 kids I was in this situation. In 2015, I gave myself a whole day off for a year!  It was the first year in over 17 years that I had a day without a child and decided not to fill it with jobs / work / chores. So I scheduled lunch out with a different friend every week. No work. No kids. No housework. It helped me to connect with my self again. I really didn’t realise just how ‘wound up’ I was until I started to unwind. I became more relaxed and discovered how not to worry and became more focused, happier and more productive.

    2.    Work with the cycles of the moon. Traditionally women rested with the dark moon (when the sky is dark because there is no moon and no moon light). Before electricity women would get their period at this time and they would rest and just ‘chill out’ together. Rest with the dark moon. (Long bath, dinner with some friends you can be yourself with, go to bed early and read a book, lie with your legs up the wall or perhaps go for a soothing massage). Imagine if you rested once a month like this the past 10 or 20 years.

    3.    Create a morning routine that inspires you and includes some meditation practice.  Btw, meditation doesn’t have to be too serious.  You can start simply:  sit quietly to have your morning cup of tea, water the garden before breakfast or take an early morning walk at a ‘cruising’ pace with the intention of slowing down and clearing your thoughts.

    4.    Use affirmations to clear the unwanted self talk that has been telling you that you can’t change. For example, you can repeat to yourself, “It’s safe for me to let go”. Affirmations are profoundly simple and just as profoundly effective. Breathing in your affirmation with a deep breath then releasing it to each and every cell in your body is self healing and will become one of the most powerful tools you take with you throughout your life.

5.  Ask yourself, what is the one thing that you can do that will make the biggest difference in your life today – and do it!

6.  Be patient.  If you’ve spent years getting yourself into this state, it may take some time to come out of it.  You are in need of some healing and restoration so allow yourself the time and space to do so.

With these simple practices, you will start to unwind, untangle and reconnect with you. You will rediscover who you are and what you love and you will shine. You’re family, friends and colleagues will feel energised by being around you because when you are with them you’ll be more present and you will naturally give them more of yourself because your energy will be bigger and brighter and authentically most gorgeously and generously you!

Tara x

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