How to use your Intuition to Become Anxiety-Free in Motherhood

Marketing and media tells us how wonderful having a baby will be if we just have ‘this’ product and we just use ‘this technique’. In the age of information overload it’s not surprising that so many women are suffering with depression, isolation and anxiety.

Our innate ability seems to be undermined at every turn. We are turning to ‘experts’ to manage our pregnancy, our birth, our new baby and our early parenting. Delegating at every point that we can. We are marketed to constantly – “If you use product xyz you will be the perfect mother with the perfectly happy baby” – If this was true, why are so many women suffering a lack of confidence and a lack of feeling accomplished in motherhood?

While we need information and we need expertise and experience, we also need our innate wisdom and to use our own good judgment. The definition of Wisdom is “the combination of knowledge, experience and good judgement”, but if you become completely reliant on knowledge and experts, then you are missing out on the equally important ingredient of “Good Judgement”. I believe good judgement to be your intuition and your innate knowledge. This is one of profound links between motherhood and yoga. It is the practice of listening to your body, your thoughts and your deepest heart-felt desires – commonly known as the practice of mindfulness.

You can use this good judgment to find the right mentor or guide for you in that moment, to decipher the information you are receiving and make a common sense decision about what’s best for you and your baby. One without the other is not wisdom. We need all three ingredients.

So many women have told me that they went against their first thoughts (their own gut feelings or knowing) during labour or in the first few weeks with their baby because an ‘expert’ didn’t listen to them and so they stopped listening to themselves. “I thought I must have been wrong” they say to me. They feel their first thoughts were wrong so they stop listening to themselves – and their baby – altogether.

What we need to realise is that a joyous birth, successful parenting and a fulfilling family/work life are not about what you have – they are about connection. You need to develop a connection with the process, a connection with your child and a connection with your family and connection with yourself.

Many women suffer post-natal depression, post-natal anxiety and post-traumatic stress after having a baby because they feel so incompetent or out of their waters – because their expectations were so far from the reality they are experiencing. Perhaps they are used to being successful in their career and in control of everything. Then birth and baby comes along and it feels like everything is spiralling out of control. At this point many women look for products and techniques and experts that will save them and tell them what to do. The problem with this is that it is not always personalised to you, your baby and your situation and does not encourage you to develop your intuition as the third ingredient of wisdom. This approach often means women disconnecting from themselves further in order to implement the advise.

Connecting to your intuition will help you to feel less anxious and more in control. In order to do this you need to learn to find distance from all that ‘noise’ of other people’s opinions, judgments and expectations. After you gather information, learn about other people’s experiences and have your own experiences, then you need to add the secret third ingredient of INTUITION. This secret ingredient is like a muscle – the more you use it the stronger and clearer it becomes.

Our classes and programs are designed to help women to regain their confidence physically, emotionally and mentally. They are also designed to help you get distance from the ‘noise’ and come back to hearing yourself think and turning your intuition from a faint whisper that you can choose to ignore into a clear empowered voice.

 

5 ways to help you connect with your intuition:

  1.  When you notice that your ‘busy being busy’ but not really getting anything done, stop to take a deep breath, an intetional glass of water or simply sit down and take a moment break to re-collect yourself.
  2. If you feel anxiety or overwhelm building STOP and ask yourself “What do I need to let go of right now, in this moment?”
  3. Start your day with some time for yourself.  A short (or long) walk, a cup of tea in the garden, 10 minutes yoga or hanging the washing out before anyone else wakes up.
  4. Start writing a gratitude journal before you go to sleep.  Let this be the last thing that you think about.  It can just be a few quick notes.
  5. Allocate times during the day to STOP and sit quietly…

 

Tara x

Ps Join our Free Group Clarity Sessions and keep connected.

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