The baby juggling act is perhaps like nothing you’ve ever experienced before.
It can be like trying to hold an infinite number of balls in the air while trying to continue with some sort of ‘normality’. By the end of the day you can be left feeling exhausted and like you haven’t achieved anything at all. Many of us have these days and they seem to run into each other. You can feel frustrated with ‘trying’ to get things done.
One thing for sure is that we’ve all had days like this. It’s important to get to the root of what is making life so challenging and how can you celebrate this passage into motherhood.
One of the challenges facing women is that the majority of their self worth is tied into ‘doing’ and managing ‘successful’ careers. This creeps into motherhood and impacts how we spend time with our babies. It can be very hard to allow yourself to sit in the space of ‘being’ rather than ‘doing’.
Motherhood is the ultimate leadership role but our society doesn’t seem to value this position or the importance of ‘holding space’ for the family – especially a new baby. New bubs require so much of your time, physical assistance, patience, and care but your most important job is to connect with your baby.
It’s this connection and love that makes babies thrive.
Becoming a new mother must be one of the most challenging on-the-job learning experiences that you will ever have. It’s an important rite of passage and some women traverse this unknown territory without any support. A mentor and a community to ask the difficult and sometimes embarrassing questions are essential.
With every one of my six babies, I’ve learned some important things.
- Manage expectations. Start with a rite of passage ceremony like a Mother’s Blessing (Click the link for more info). This ceremony is a good way to set expectations and enlist a support community. You have to remember that you won’t be able to get as much done as you have in the past. Remember that creating a healthy foundation based on the mother-baby bond is your most important job. It’s time to simplify your life.
- Check-in on your ego. You can hold a lot of our self worth in our identity and often cling onto it even when it no longer serves you. I’m talking about the way you label yourself in our daily lives. Now is the time to release these labels and morph and change according to your life.
- Get rid of labels like If you are the ‘tidy one’, the ‘sexy one’, or the ‘organised one’. Replace them with something like ‘I am intuitive’, ‘I look after myself and my baby’, ‘I flow easily between being with my baby and getting chores done’. It’s important to ask yourself, “Who do I need to be for me and the baby right now?”
- Balance your time of ‘doing’ with the time of ‘being’. If you’ve been full throttle for years and worn your busy-ness like a badge of honour, it’s time to practice ‘being’ instead of doing. Gardening, cooking, needlework, morning walks, quiet time with friends, reading a book will help you unwind, untangle and become more comfortable just ‘being’. When you give yourself this time and space you can connect more authentically. Your intuition comes to the forefront and it gives your whole being time to be creative, problem solve and find solutions. Leaving you with more energy so that you feel more relaxed and rested. Ready to do the things that matter.
Here’s a little exercise.
What are your priorities right now? Write them down.
What labels are you ready to shed? Write them down.
What feelings come to the forefront when you think about ‘being’? Write them down
If you are having trouble answering these questions, join our Facebook group for community support. This group is a positive space filled with wisdom and lots of savvy mothers who have been through the same place as you.